The Game of Life: Reclaiming My Lost Gifts

I’ve always sensed that life is more than just a series of random events, more than just surviving the day-to-day grind. Deep within me, there’s a knowing, a quiet whisper that insists I was sent to this earth with a purpose, equipped with all the gifts and light needed to succeed at this game we call life.

But as I’ve journeyed through the years, it often felt like those gifts were stolen from me, stripped away in the early stages of this journey. I was left with an austere version of myself, a shell of the vibrant, light-filled being I once was, one that I barely remember, or perhaps still am somewhere beneath the surface.

It’s taken me a long time, 56 years, to understand that the losses I’ve felt, the parts of myself that have been buried deep, aren’t gone forever.

They’ve been hidden away, locked in the depths of my wounds, waiting for me to be brave enough to retrieve them. This realization has been both daunting and liberating. Daunting because I know the journey ahead requires immense courage and perseverance, but liberating because I no longer feel like I’m wandering through life empty-handed, with nothing left to win.

As I delve deeper into this metaphorical game, I see numerology as the coding that shapes my Avatar, this human form navigating the physical world. It feels like the blueprint of who I am in this body, the intrinsic qualities, and the challenges I must face. And then there’s astrology, which feels like the prompt for the adventures, a cosmic guide that nudges me in certain directions, offering clues along the way.

Together, these systems have mapped out the terrain of my life, but it’s always been up to me to find the key that unlocks the treasures hidden in the darkest corners of my soul.

Somewhere along the game, I forgot to get or perhaps the system kept me blind to, the key, so that I could not win. There was a time when I believed I had nothing left to win, that my gifts had been taken from me for good, and that I was destined to play with half the deck. But as I’ve begun to embrace this journey of healing, particularly the healing of my mother wound, I’m starting to see, as I remove the blinders, that those gifts have always been within reach. They weren’t stolen; they were hidden away until I was ready, until I had the strength to see them and go after them.

The game of life, as I now see it, isn’t about the external victories or the accolades. It’s about reclaiming what is rightfully mine, the gifts of self-worth, love, compassion, and strength that were obscured by the pain of my past. It’s about piecing together the map, etched in the scars of my wounds and imprinted in the constellations above, and using it to navigate my way back to wholeness.

This isn’t a straightforward journey. There are days when I feel like giving up, when the path is too steep and the darkness too overwhelming. But on those days, I remind myself that the adventure lies in the pursuit, in conquering the ultimate challenge. Every step I take, no matter how small, is a victory. Every time I dare to face my pain, to descend into the depths of my wounding, I get closer to reclaiming the light that was hidden away. And with each piece I recover, I become more of who I was always meant to be.

I know I’m not alone in this.

We all have our wounds, our hidden gifts waiting to be uncovered. What I see now is that we each hold different pieces of our puzzles, pieces that can help one another put together the map that leads us to the enlightenment we came here to seek. When we honor our journeys with compassion, we can begin to share those missing pieces, making the quest less difficult.

Maybe this reflection is a piece you’ve been missing to explore a new part of the game inside yourself.

The journey may look different for each of us, but the goal remains the same: to reclaim our light, to restore the fullness of our being. I believe that’s how we win at this game, not by conquering others, but by conquering our own fears, our own doubts, and ultimately, by becoming whole.

So, I invite you, if you find yourself feeling lost or empty, to consider this perspective. You have all the gifts you’ll ever need to succeed in this life. They’re not gone, they’re just waiting for you to be brave enough to retrieve them. The map is there, etched in the fabric of your experiences, in the scars that mark your journey, and in the ways others trigger you. Approach these interactions with curiosity rather than closing up and shutting down. And while the path may be challenging, it is also rewarding beyond measure.

Let’s be brave together, finding the courage to face our wounds, to retrieve our gifts, and to shine as brightly as we were always meant to. This is how we win, not just the game, but the journey of life itself.

☥